Showing posts with label Jokes and Humors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes and Humors. Show all posts

Monday, January 23, 2012

Hotel's Clerk Jokes




If you search information about travel tips anywhere, you can always find some guides about hotel and lodging. It's pretty understandable, as staying in bad hotel can ruin the whole traveling experience, whether if someone is on vacation or business trip.

Now, even when you're staying at a luxury suite of a five-stars hotel, bad moments still can happen, especially regarding the hotel's services. Below are some jokes about argumentation between travelers and hotel's clerks, which obviously not based on a real experience.



Wake-Up Call

One night at an economy motel, a guest ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, he woke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30.

"Good morning," a young man said. "This is your wake-up call."

Annoyed, he let the motel worker have it. "You were supposed to call me at 6!, what if I had a million-dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out on it?"

"Well, sir," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you had a million-dollar deal to close, you wouldn't have been staying in this motel, would you?"



One-Night Rate

A not so rich couple decided to stay at a very exclusive hotel for a night. The manager immediately recognized them for what they are but could not throw them out, instead he decided to be clever. In the morning the couple came to settle the bill and were surprised to find they owe $3000.

"How's this? We've only been here one night!" the man was annoyed.

"So?", said the manager, "this is a very expensive hotel. We have golf courts, tennis courts, swimming pools, exercise rooms, bars and restaurants, all this is very expensive to keep up."

"But we didn't use any of these!" explained the couple.

"If you didn't use - that's your problem," came the reply.

"In that case, you owe me $2000. You see, my wife is a call girl who charges $5000 a night, so please settle your bill," said the man. "What do you mean?" the manager was taken off guard, "I didn't sleep with your wife!"

"If yo u didn't use - that's your problem!"


Dog is Allowed

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:"I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."



Traveler's Wife

A traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm.

"Fancy meeting my wife here," he says to the clerk. "Guess I'll need a double room for the night."

Next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to be over $3000. "What's the meaning of this?" he yells at the clerk. "I've only been here one night!"

"Yes," says the clerk, "but your wife has been here for three weeks."

Monday, June 20, 2011

Sports Also Have Jokes




Ice Hockey's Field

A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole. All of sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice."

The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "As I said before, there are no fish under the ice."

The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish.

Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!"

The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "How do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"

"No", the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink."




Team's Mascot

A championship football team was away playing in the country. After the match, the bus they were travelling in was involved in a serious accident. The driver, the coach and all the players were killed. The only survivor was the mascot - a chimpanzee.

Soon after the disaster, investigators came to determine the cause of the accident. They were interviewing the chimp, who was giving his answers in sign language

"Just before the crash, what was the driver doing?" The chimp made signs to show drinking and smoking.

"And what was the coach doing before the crash?" More signs of drinking and smoking.

"Then what was the rest of the team doing?" Actions of drinking, smoking and general carry on.

"This is terrible. They must have been having some kind of party on the bus. And what about you? What were you doing just before the crash?" The chimp made actions like driving a bus.

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